how can u be prego again
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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