Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
