before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
