I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the liver wants what the liver wants
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
