We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
