She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
