I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
