my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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