kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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