Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
