there's paper in my vomit.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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