I'm eating all of the evidence.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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