You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
