I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize