Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
4 words: hood of his car
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
