really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
