i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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