And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
