but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
