i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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