what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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