I wish I could punch you in the face.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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