At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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