i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
