Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
