Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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