you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
