bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
