Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
