if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
