Christians are straight up FREAKS
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
