One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
