Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
