Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
