You're my little dorito
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
