Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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