Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
