Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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