We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
