Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
