You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
