how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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