Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
