Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
