We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
A+ Viking dick
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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