it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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