i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
