I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
