Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
