i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
