Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
